Saturday, May 7, 2016

Famous Author, R.S. Friendlykins

Oh dear...

I had another bout of Writer self-doubt.

Sounds like a Dr. Seuss.

Okay; not a bout. All writers never really leave self-doubt, because it is always hiding in the background and ready to strike when we let our guard down, or look away from the screen and out a window (see: Reality is an Arsonist ).

So, let me call my latest 'bout' what it really was: a relapse:

It must be true. I am not worthy to be considered a writer. My writing material stinks, and it cannot rise to anything noteworthy. My stories aren't even a good read on a rainy afternoon.

What if I publish these stink bombs under a pen name? Anonymous stink bombs, you know?

Ha! I thought this several times before. The pen name resolves everything for a writer who, like me, enjoys writing but whose writing stinks -- yet who still wishes to publish it. I could be happy knowing that I tried, that I got my story finished, that my unique characters can live beyond me -- even if under a giant stink bomb pile of a trillion digital fonts on Amazon ($0.99).

A pen name will protect my true identity. Who wrote this crap!? Well, Randeee Wiremant; not me! And if miraculously it were to be a best seller? A huge hit and a world nod to genius? HA!

Well, if it were a hit, then I could step out from under the shadow of Randeee Wiremant and declare: I am HE.

A pen name serves the best of all possible worlds!

So, instead of finishing off a chapter, I went searching on the web for pen name ideas. First, I wanted to know the justification other authors had in having one. Many were completely legit, even compelling: Women who could not get published and so chose male names; authors with large followings in one genre but who wrote several genres and did not want to confuse or disappoint said followers of a particular genre; and famous authors who simply just wanted to write, well, simply.

Then I wanted to know how they came about their pen names. This is where I found no simple path. Seems some authors chose names that they felt comfortable being referred or had romanticized a bit. I then found an interesting website that would resolve all my troubles: Pen-name Generator

I've been a sucker for these kinds of scientifically accurate and life exacting generators before (see: Um...Writer is a Career Choice? ).  But I have to admit, this was a fun one and, well, did what it was meant to do: create a pen name based on some simple facts about YOU, the author.

This generator has a list of questions it wants you to answer or fill in, such as your first pet's name, the street you first lived on, etc. And while the generator can help you with suggestions along the way, I answered each question personally. My first street? Connie Drive. My first dog's name? Scruffy. Please give a positive adjective that could describe you. I said honest. Name a weapon. Poison. And so on. It will then generate a couple of dozen pen names that may fit specific genres.

How could I resist? How can you?

So, what are my new choices for pen names that I can use when I finally publish a story that stinks like stink bombs and can never be good enough to read on a rainy afternoon? Well, how about  I just give you some of my favorites. <Deep breath> Here goes:

For all genres
Scottus Scruffy Connie (Oh, dear...)
Randall S. Wild (I like. However, to everyone's disappointment, so far from the truth)
R.S. Winston (Not bad, but evokes 1984)
...and most notable:
Rainbow Willingham (Yeah... That's about right.)

For the Mystery/Crime genre
R.S. Bitterpoison (umm... no.)
Wire Randblood (HA! I faint at the site of blood...)
R.S. Blackwire (Pretty freakin' cool!)
...and most notable:
Rat S. Toxin (No words necessary.)

And for the romance genre, you ask?
Rachelle Wirelove (Why am I suddenly a woman? But Wirelove says it all! Ooh yeah, baby!)
Ronda-Anne Friendlyflower (I am absolutely offended by this! Yes, I'm a friendly flower, but I'm no Ronda-Anne!)
...and most notable:
Scruffy Sunshine (Got to admit, this is pretty accurate on multiple levels.)

The list goes on. Interestingly, half of my new pen names are female. That's fine with me, but could I handle such power? Hmm...

So, before I choose a pen name, I'm thinking maybe I should just get back to finishing a chapter, or two...or three, and worry about pen names later. Nothing against this fine generator, but I am starting to like my actual name more and more! In the meantime, sign me off as

Dr. Rosemarie Wireson...or Sandeep S. Toxin-Connie... or

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