Any long-time followers of this blog or anyone who knows me well, knows that I struggle with confidence in my writing. Of course, this is not uncommon for many writers.
I even struggle with talking about writing--my writing in particular--as if my writing is my own secret world that only those closest to me might understand. Anyone else isn't allowed into that world. I suppose that's a trust thing.
As I am researching and exploring the information about the MWW and the workshop, I find that I am both excited and terrified. Since Christmas day (when I saw the email from Jama Bigger, the coordinator at MWW, who, I might add, has responded to several of my emails quickly, professionally, and pleasantly), I have rewritten most of an old manuscript that I haven't looked at in years.
Funny, in looking at old work, I have a very duplicitous mind about it. On one hand, I think, "Huh, this is pretty interesting. An agent might be interested in this...." And then, the proverbial devil on my other shoulder says, "I need to rewrite this another 25 times. Even then, it won't be any good." I know I need to be excited, to get excited, to act excited, to pretend--this is my writing, for God's sake. If no one else can get excited about it, who will?
So, with that, I plan to go to MWW and learn how to write a decent query letter. I will learn a bunch. Plan on another update. Maybe, I will think more seriously about the agent/query/publisher thing in another 10 years.
Just kidding, I think.